Glimpses into The Garden

An ongoing series of snippets and out-takes that will update as we think of them


"But you said we could get a puppy."

"Carmen, Jack is not a puppy."

"He can be!"

"No."

"But…"

"No."

"If you don't like dogs, I can be a kitty," Jack offered impishly.

It took everything Remington had to not make the obvious remark.

Jack grinned.

Carmen rolled her eyes. Sometimes it was like raising two fourteen year old boys.


….And then there was the morning Jack woke up with sparkly purple toenails.

Jack had blinked, opened his eyes, looked at the shade and shrugged slightly. His head fell back to the pillow, "No manicure?"

Remington walked through the room, pulling a t-shirt over his head, hair still damp from the bath. "Next time, bring flowers," was his muffled retort.

Carmen rolled over and pulled the comforter over her head and muttered: "Boys…"


"You Hairy Ape."

"You Hairless Monkey."

"Hi Rem."

"Hi Jack. Omelette?"

"My Hero."

Carmen shook her head. It was too early for this.


"Rem? Rem! I know its dark, and you're wicked drunk, and that I'm very pretty. But if you grab my ass like that again, you're going to have to buy me dinner."

"If you'd stop wearing Carmen's lingerie I wouldn't get confused."

Carmen's eyebrows rose. "Excuse me?"

Remington's drunk was suddenly a lot less wicked. "Err… Now, sweetheart…"

Jack whistled the opening bit of a famous Western theme.


Carmen walked into the kitchen where Jack and Remington were cooking dinner. She held two trump cards up in front of her and grinned slyly at Jack . "Bottom or Top?"

"Top." Jack replied without a moment's thought, which was, in truth, how Jack replied to many things.

Carmen smirked and handed him a card. It depicted a 'playroom' with a petite form partially hidden by shadows kneeling in one corner. "Have a rosy day."

"It's not even Yule." He grinned, and focused.

Remington snorted before Jack disappeared. "Good thing. You're getting lumps of coal for Yule." Then he took a good long look at the innocent looking Carmen's outfit and grinned himself.

"Well, hey there Little Red Riding Hood…"


"There are two of them?"

"The other one is really the best behaved," Carmen continued on cheerfully to the stunned man on whose lap she was sitting.

"Two?"

"Well, yes, baby, that is what 'twin' means."

"No."

"But, baby…"

"You can't be serious…"

"Did I mention it's a twin sister?"

"Oh…Ooooh."


They were sunbathing on the roof deck under a perfect Amber summer sky. Carmen's feet were in Remington's lap - he couldn't sit still for too long — while he painted her toenails a fiery red.

"Do you people ever get married?" he asked suddenly. She peeked at him over the top of her sunglasses.

"Excuse me? You people?"

"You know what I mean."

"Well, yes, but you could phrase it better. You make us sound like an alien race."

"Well, in a way…"

"Remington!"

"What?"

She sighed and took off her glasses. Propping herself on one elbow, she looked at him frankly. "Your mother came by while I was out, didn't she? You always get like this when your mother's been on her soapbox."

He glowered and sat the bottle of red aside with a sigh. Gently he moved her feet from his lap to the lounger and scooted up to be closer to her and take her hand. "Yes. But this isn't about her." At Carmen's look of doubt, he continued. "It isn't. I know why you're reluctant to; that you are afraid that I will will start to resent you when you remain as you are and I don't. I can't imagine a day when I would be as you fear, or why the lack of a piece of paper would make any difference."

She cocked her head to one side and studied him. "Five years ago you weren't in the least bit interested in that piece of paper." He shrugged and looked down at their hands as he laced his fingers with hers. She sighed. "Outside of Oberon, Random is the only one I know for certain has married. I know my parents weren't; even if he had asked, my mother would have turned him down."

"Why?"

"She's a product of her generation — and I suppose I am too. They rebelled against the Establishment. All of them. The institution of marriage was just a way for the 'The Man' to keep women down and enslaved to the patriarchy." Carmen grinned at his snort of amusement. "My mother is a free spirit and she raised me the same way. I'll make a deal with you though," she offered, reaching to caresses his cheek darkened by 5:00 shadow. "If you still feel the same way in another five years, I'll ask the Twins to sing at our wedding."

She laughed when Remington dropped his head to her shoulder and groaned. "We're doomed…."


"Tell me again why we gave him a key."

"Because the last time he banged on the door and woke us up, you almost stabbed him with an umbrella," Carmen reminded him as she poured his coffee.

"It wouldn't have killed him," he growled.

"But he would bleed on my carpet. I hate when he bleeds on my carpet."

"I'm standing right here," said Jack as he liberated the pot from Carmen.

Half awake, Remington grumbled into his coffee. "There's a surprise…"

"Don't make me get the bikini wax."

Carmen smacked him on the back of the head. "Don't make me stop feeding you."

Jack wiggled his toes with their new coat of sparkling purple nail polish. "Bikini wax won't kill him."

"But not giving you this new card might just kill you…"

"What is it?" Jack paused, "Damn! I should have been an — some animal that isn't curious. "

"Tree sloth?" Carmen offered helpfully.

"I'd say bear, but you already have one, and Rem looks better in a tutu on a unicycle."

"I also have better legs," Remington replied dryly


Jack grunted at the thing that poked him in the back, and then tried to ignore it. It poked him again, and more insistently. "Is there a national emergency?"

"Yes. The women have gone shopping and I promised we'd clean up the mess from last night." Remington's voice and his Begman accent.

"You got Kay up this early?" Jack asked sleepily.

"It's after noon, Monkey Boy." The Sculptor smiled, "And, No, it was Kay that got —"

"Stop."

"Then get out of bed already!"

"Why?"

"Because I promised —"

"Who promised?"

"I did."

"Well, then."

Jack felt a weight upon the bed as Remington reclined beside him and plucked his ear. The Male half of the Bellagio Twins ignored the abuse, and Remington, until his tormentor leaned down to speak into Jack's ear. "So we were all in bed, and Kay saw that —"

"Stop."

"Get out of bed or I'll make it so you never look at your sister the same way again."

"I hate you."

"I know. Upstairs or down?"

Jack sat up, and shoved Remington onto the floor, "I'll clean upstairs." He rolled out the other side, and skipped out of the room in a hurry.


Jack heard the sound of giggling, which alone would not have been at all disturbing, save that Carmen and Kaylee were giggling together. That could not possibly bode well. If they were giggling by the door, from the sound of it, then who was —

"Jack?"

"Rem, are we —?"

"Yes."

"Did they —?

"Yes."

"All our fears have come to pass."

"Indeed. What do we do?"

"Say something manly."

"Like what?"

"And move your hips back a few inches."

"Sorry. Wake up!"

"I am!"

"Then why aren't your eyes open?"

"I'm hoping it will all go away."

"Well it won't."

"Have we any dignity remaining?"

"None at all, I fear."

"Then tell me something."

"What?"

Jack opened his eyes and lifted his head from the pillow to look at Remington, "Do you still find me attractive?" And then he batted his eyes.

Jack hit the bedroom floor in a tangle of blankets, sheets, pillows and amidst the sound of laughter.


Remington stepped out onto the balcony and walked over to Carmen curiously. It wasn't often he saw her gardening. Okay, never. "What's that?"

"Catnip."

"We don't have a cat."

"I know."

He raised an eyebrow, silent for a moment as the implications filtered down. "Ooooh…," he laughed. "Aren't you quite the naughty little vixen?"


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